All I Ask of You
by misstris1221
Summary: My pro-Erik spin on the roof scene. What if Christine wanted Erik up there instead of our dearest Viscount? Raoul is a little OOC just because we know he is truly cool. And Erik is a sad sack. Please R&R!
1. The Stairs

_CPOV_

_No. _

My heart was pounding in my ears. It sounded like someone beating a drum inside my head.

_He couldn't have done it... _That's what my heart said. But my mind knew the truth, try as I might to ignore it.

I had to talk to him. I wasn't even sure of where I was going. Primal fear told me to flee, but above that was my heart anxiously fluttering with worry. Where was he?

Panic rose inside me as I raced around with the others looking for an escape route. Except, I wasn't trying to leave. I was merely trying to separate myself from the crowd and figure out what was happening. The mob pushed against each other and plowed others over like a herd of startled cattle.

"Christine!"

The sound of my name caught my attention more than it should have, but it was instantly followed by disappointment. The male voice was not the one I was searching for.

"Christine! Are you alright?" Raoul shouted at me over the frenzied thespians, his eyes wide with the same fear as theirs.

"I'm fine, Raoul. Please…" I went to step around him but he grabbed my arm firmly.

"Christine, it's not safe! Quickly, we must go!" We were being run into by hundreds of people and I wished he would just leave. It would be much easier to navigate this crowd without him latched to me! And if he was so worried about it he could leave with the rest of them. But like the gentleman he was, he would not leave a lady by herself when a murderer was on the loose.

Fantastic….

He turned to lead me down the hall with the others.

"Raoul, really, that was…very traumatizing…I just need to be alone" I tried to give him a damsel-in-distress look and apparently it worked all too well.

"I'm not going to leave you!" he said vehemently.

I growled softly and jerked my arm from his tight grip. I spun away, not really caring if he followed me. I half-wished he would be swept away in the current of people, but I heard him behind me calling my name, proving no such luck.

My feet met the spiral staircase and I bolted up not waiting for him. Where I was going, I wasn't sure but _away_ was always a good start.

His voice told me that he had caught up and was pursuing me to wherever I was going. I wished I knew where that was.

**Why have you brought me here?**

Brought him here? That's a good one. He was the one following me like a lost puppy! But my thoughts were hardly on Raoul at the moment.

_I can't go back there!_

**We must return!**

Why?

If I went back my resolve would waver.

I knew at this moment that I didn't care about anything else but being with _him_. If I went back I may realize what a fool I was being. I would realize that there was nothing between us and that this was very foolish. Or I might realize that I was running to make sure a murderer was okay.

I couldn't look back.

_He'll kill you! His eyes will find us there…_

**Christine, don't say that.**

He would do whatever it took to have me. If that meant killing Raoul then it would be done, even though Raoul was certainly no threat in this case.

I 'd had many suitors over the years but I had turned most of them down. They had all been the same vain, money laden aristocrat that was right behind me. That... and my angel had gotten very jealous.

It sounded very conceited to say that he would do anything to have me but I believed it to be true.

_Those eyes that burn. _

**Don't even think it.**

Those green eyes were incredible.

They could make me feel so many things. The passion, hatred, fear, and kindness…it was amazing how well those all fit into one man. Those eyes could practically melt me with one glance...

And they would forever haunt me.

Was it possible to long for and fear a person's eyes? They knew things about me that no one knew. No one, including myself.

_Been hunted by a thousand men!_

**Forget this waking nightmare!**

_The Phantom of the Opera will kill and kill again!_

**This phantom is a fable! Believe me! There is no Phantom of the Opera!**

Clearly he hadn't been there when Bouquet fell from the ceiling with a noose around his neck! No matter what I said, Raoul didn't seem to want to believe me. Not that I really needed to prove anything to him but it hurt all the same.

I did not believe Erik to be a cold-blooded murderer.

Well…I only mean that I did not believe him to be the horrifying killer that was on a rampage, as everyone believed.

He was different, as cliché as that sounds. They didn't see the same side of him that I did.

_My God, who is this man?_

**My God, who is this man?**

_Who owns my will? _

I shivered a little at the thought of that.

I realized just how much that man owned me. Even though I no longer saw him as a deity, it changed nothing. He was still the same to me.

I would do anything for him and he very well knew it.

I belonged to him.

**This mask of death?**

_I can't escape from him. I never will._

**Whose is this voice you hear? With every breath?**

I wish I knew the answer to that question.

Erik was no angel, not physically. But he had in fact been _my_ angel.

Why did that have to change? He didn't seem to know what he wanted from me anymore than I from him. It seemed he was just as confused as I was.

No matter what we did, there would always be that bond in us. I would never be without him nor him without me.

No matter how hard I tried.

I almost felt a …protectiveness of him.

I wanted to make sure no one ever hurt him again. I had hurt him once. That had been an accident. Seeing his pain when I had removed the mask made me feel pity for him and had made me hate myself.

I was going to make sure it never happened again.

_And in this labyrinth where night is blind! _

**And in this labyrinth where night is blind!**

_The Phantom of the Opera is here inside my mind._

**The Phantom of the Opera is there inside your mind.**

And with that last frightening and comforting revelation, I felt the cool winter air hit my face as I flung open the door to the roof.

***R&R please! Constructive criticisms appreciated!* **


	2. The Rose

**Warning! Raoul's a little OOC and Erik's kind of a whiny bitch :p Ok please continue.**

**Erik POV**

I had not truly intended to follow them up to the roof, but when Christine had fled with of the rest of those fools, my heart had plummeted.

In my thoughtless act of rage, had I frightened her into believing what all the others did? That I was a mindless mad-man on the loose ready to kill any living thing?

Hatred flared in me when I saw her talking to that boy.

I had never wanted to kill anyone more than I did that fop. And I had wanted to kill a lot of people. He was helping feed these thoughts to her.

However, I was also hurt. I should have known better. I was the fool to believe she wouldn't go to him. But to think that the first person she wanted was him…that stung me more than I had expected.

I had just secured myself behind the far statue when she came through the door followed by her _suitor_.

**There is no Phantom of the Opera.**

That first statement alone proved his foolishness. Obviously the notes, my verbal threat to the entire theater, and the dead man dangling above the stage did not prove anything.

I turned my attention to Christine.

_My _Christine.

By God, she was beautiful. She could make an angel green with envy, I was sure.

The first thing I noticed was her distant look. She was so far away...

I for a moment let myself believe that she was thinking about me. I let myself believe that she was wishing for me in the lustful, loving way that I was thinking of her now. I shook myself.

Lies. That's all it was.

The second thing I noticed was the rose clutched in her grasp.

_My_ rose. _My_ mark.

I felt my chest fluttered at the sight of it. She had brought it with her and was holding it close to her to protect it from the weather. It was proof she had thought of me. And surely if she hated me she wouldn't have brought it with her and be cradling it so gently? I couldn't contain my loving smile. Perhaps there was hope.

Suddenly her world seemed to snap back into focus. She turned to the Viscount with a fiery determination in her eyes.

_Raoul, I've been there! To his world of unending night. _

_To a world where the daylight dissolves into darkness…darkness._

So this was it. She was going to reveal all my secrets to the viscount_. _

Tell him of how horribly ugly and cruel the Phantom had been and that she wished that they would run away together so that she would never again be burdened with the thought of me.

And I would never recover.

_Raoul, I've seen him! Can I ever forget that sight? _

_Can I ever escape from those eyes so abandoned and hurt?_

_They reached out for my love in that darkness…darkness._

Her eyes were sad. She pitied me. No one had ever pitied me before (no one but Antoinette) but to see Christine's face fall at the thought of my pain did something to me.

Only my Christine had that kind of compassion and understanding. It was one of the reasons why she had stuck out, why I had taken her on as my protégé.

And even though I did not think it possible...I loved her more.

_And his voice filled my spirit with a strange sweet sound. _

_In that night there was music in my mind. _

She advanced toward my hidden position and looked back down at her rose with a soft expression.

I became quite nervous. Every part of me was aware of her presence. I wanted so much to reach out and touch her. I wanted to hold her, kiss her, and apologize for whatever was necessary. Oh, my Christine…I would give anything for you. I would change who I was, who I wasn't, my entire being for her. She was my world. She was everything to me and everything I didn't deserve. I loved her.

By God this woman could distract me! I struggled to get my mind on track and pay attention to what she was saying.

_And through music my soul began to soar! _

_And I heard as I've never heard before…_

The boy's face was one of comfort. As if to reassure her that this nightmare wasn't real and that she was simply mad.

**What you heard was a dream and nothing more.**

Even at his blatant dismissal of her beliefs she didn't falter. She never took her eyes off my rose.

If that night truly had been a dream I wish to never wake up again. For it had meant more to me than all my life combined (though it had ended badly). It was the night my facade shattered. It was the night Christine saw Erik. She saw the man behind the mask. I had wanted that...but not in the literal sense I suppose. I would have been quite content to have her be oblivious to my curse forever.

Now she knew what I was.

I wasn't an angel. I wasn't even a man. I was a monster.

_Yet in his eyes…all the sadness of the world. _

_Those pleading eyes, that both threaten and adore._

The way she spoke of me was unnerving. She was right.

I was so afraid to get close to her. I loved her so much, God knows I did! And yet when it seemed we got close...I lashed out or kept some length between us to keep us apart. Here I wanted her to love me so badly but I was pushing her away!

**Christine…Christine… **Raoul soothed.

**_Christine…_**

I couldn't stop myself.

Her name came so easily to my lips. Why should the boy get to say such a beautiful word?

Mine was a plea.

I wanted her to know I was sorry for all the wrong I had done. It was a plea for her to overlook it all and love me still. For without her I would fall.

She looked around for a confused second. I think she was trying to decide whether or not my voice was an illusion.

The Viscount approached her slowly from behind, and I easily recognized the look in his eyes. It made me want to snap his neck.

That was the look of lust; I knew it all too well.

He gazed at her softly. I was the only person that could look at Christine like that. I had to stifle a possessive growl. He reached up to stroke her cheek while she was lost in thought. It seemed to startle her back into awareness.

I ground my teeth and watched that hand. If he touched her…well, I couldn't be responsible for what happened.

I hate to admit it even now, but the boy loved her. And that just made me want to kill him all the more. Though there was no reason not to love Christine. She was perfect. She would always be perfect.

"No, Raoul" she said gently and pulled away. I could feel a smug smile spread across my face at the boy confused expression. He couldn't believe that he had been rejected. (**A/N:** Friend Request denied!xD)

"Christine?" He looked hurt and paused.

She merely shook her head.

"Lotte..." he took yet another step closer. "What we had-" his voice gentle.

"We were children, Raoul. It was years ago. We are not the same people"

"But I still feel for you" he insisted

"I'm sorry. I just do not see you in that way" She looked out at the city for a long moment and stroked the rose in thought "I believe... my heart is taken" It almost sounded like a revelation to her.

A sudden awareness clicked in his expression. "There is someone else" It wasn't a question and it made my eyes widen

"Yes" she answered softly.

I began to hope, but immediately squashed it. Christine could have any number of suitors. She was very beautiful. Why, out of all those men, would she choose me?

After all, I had lied to her for so many years and then yelled and cursed at her while she lied on the floor… How could I even begin to think that I was the first choice?

"Who?" Raoul asked.

Christine didn't respond.

"Is it _him_?"

Christine's lack of an answer confirmed whatever he had been expecting.

"Lotte! This Phantom...this Angel of Music...By God you are in love with a figment, Christine!"

"He is more than a figment, Raoul!" She glared, "That's what I have been trying to tell you!"

The Viscount was somewhere between livid, puzzled, and defiance, "Who is it that is stealing you away from me? I wish to know. I have a right! Who is he?" They were so close to each other now. Close enough it was driving me mad, "Since you claim there is more behind this Phantom! Who is he?"

More silence.

"You do not even know him! He is a murderer, Christine! He has you under some dark spell to make you believe all this Angel of Music nonsense!" The anger and frustration was rolling off him in waves. "It's only a childish story!" he suddenly became very serious. "Lotte, he might try to hurt you"

Now it was my turn for rage to rock my body. How dare that bastard accuse that I would harm her! I would do _anything_ to keep her safe.

She whipped around in utter disbelief. Apparently she was more enraged than I realized and it was conveyed properly.

His eyes widened and color drained from his face. She hissed through her gritted teeth, "Don't you _ever_…" she didn't finish, as if she couldn't find a sufficient warning. But it seemed to be very effective none the less. Both the Viscount and I were equally shocked by this outburst. "You don't know him"

"And you do?" he asked quietly.

I was surprised at the lengthy pause that proceeded. I realized that she in fact knew only a part of me: the part I allowed her to know.

"Better than you do" she finally answered.

That answer didn't satisfy him. He looked weary and worried, "Lotte…"

"Stop calling me that, Raoul. I'm not a child" Her voice was flat, emotionless.

"Then stop acting like one!" he accused, "I care about you. I just don't want anything to happen to you. I think…"he moved to touch her shoulder but she flinched away.

"Don't, Raoul" She said, "I don't want to hear you scold me. I know I'm being ridiculous, and I know it doesn't make any sense, so just _don't_" The last part sounded like a threat. And maybe it was meant as one.

She was right. It didn't make any sense.

This whole thing between us was unbelievable at best. Where we stood with each other at the moment I wasn't sure. Was I still her angel or did she fear me? From what I had heard, she in fact felt _something_ for me.

The viscount's once loving and carefree face was now cold and distant, "Very well. I clearly can't stop you, and I won't try. Goodnight, _Christine_" He was both angry and hurt, and for the first time…I pitied him.

He gave one last contemptuous look and then left.

Leaving my love and I all alone.

**_R&R please Constructive criticisms appreciated. I know Raoul is OOC. Believe me, I am not anti-Raoul, I am just pro-Erik. If that makes sense. This isn't my best work. I hate writing OOC and writing whiny "why me?" Erik but it had to be done. _**


	3. The Snow

_CPOV_

The click of the door seemed to resonate loudly over the entire roof exaggerating my aloneness. I wondered why I felt that way when I hadn't wanted him there in the first place.

Raoul was one of my closest friends...or had been anyway. Now he hated me.

It wasn't a great loss, no, but no one likes to be hated. And for him to dismiss what I knew to be true hurt more than I can say.

A blast of sharp wind caused me to shiver violently. I went to the other side of Apollo's Lyre where I could hide myself from its bitter sting. What a fool I was, up here in this weather! I could get sick and lose my voice.

At the moment I didn't care. I couldn't face the world yet.

And who knew if I would ever sing at the opera again? With all these threats, I'm sure they thought I was a part of it; perhaps even allied with the Viscount de Chagney as some kind of forbidden-love-scandal. I was obviously trying to work my way into the spotlight by threatening the lives of the patrons and Carlotta, herself.

Not that I would be too upset if something did happen to her.

I wouldn't have been surprised if they fired me right after this. I would have fired me. I was more trouble than I was worth.

Sighing, I slid down the statue until I was seated on the light dusting of snow.

The irony suddenly struck me and I couldn't help but give a slight inaudible chuckle. Here I was, hiding behind music once again. (**A/N:** Cheesy? Yes. But Christine is just that way so don't complain to me. Plus Erik will Punjab your ass if you don't laugh, so you'd better laugh!) It seemed whenever my world crumbled, there was music. It was all I needed, or that's what I used to think. Now it seemed like I was drowning, barely keeping my head above water, and there was only one person who could save me.

Him…my Erik.

When everything I had known had been ripped out from under me, Erik had saved me. Of course...I hadn't exactly known it was him, but still, why he did it I will never know. What made him take pity and befriend a sniveling orphan girl? The man was strange; there was no doubt about that.

I smiled. No one could figure out Erik. Though I suspected I had come closer than most, and that thought saddened me. He was so alone and at the moment I was too. This whole night I had thought about him.

Learning the truth about my angel was shocking, but not devastating. As I lost an abstract divinity, I gained a true man. That, somehow made me feel closer to him.

For the past several nights my dreams had been consumed by him.

There wasn't one moment in those dreams where he wasn't there; singing, kissing, talking, touching...I had had dreams about him that made me blush every time I thought about them. But I still found myself wishing them real.

I let out another small sigh and took in the night sky for a moment.

I could only imagine what the new managers were doing right now. Surely they were in a uproar and trying to figure out how to salvage the evening and trying to keep Carlotta from leaving again.

I smiled and let my eyes slide shut.

After about a minute, a voice jolted me back to reality. "Do you want to get sick? Because that's what will happen if you sit down there." I was used to his spontaneous appearances; there was no reason for me to jump. Though it seemed my heart did leap at his sudden nearness.

I glanced up and smiled at the familiar cloaked figure, "You worry too much"

"Au contraire, mademoiselle, I worry just the right amount" A small smirk crossed his face and it caused me to blush for some reason. His hand extended down to help me up. When I accepted it and met his eyes I could tell that he had expected me to reject it. Now they glimmered with something new and exciting. He pulled me up to stand close in front of him. I smiled shyly. There was only about six inches between the two of us. I wanted to step back but didn't want to hurt his feelings because of my bashfulness.

Erik put his finger under my chin and tilted my face up toward him.

"There now, isn't that a little better than sitting in the snow?" His silky tone made me shiver and I hoped he didn't notice.

"A little, I suppose" I smiled and tilted my head curiously, "Now the real question is: why are you up here?"

As if I didn't know.

As soon as the question left my mouth, I saw his mask go up: a mask of humor and ease.

A teasing smile played at his lips as he put his hand down. "Can a man not just go for a stroll out on a rooftop and have a chance run-in with a beautiful lady?"

Forever the charmer.

I looked away shyly but was not anywhere close as to buying it, "Of course he can. There is no law against it" I smiled, "But you will forgive me if I still question your motives, monsieur"

That caused him to raise his eyebrows, "I am insulted" His eyes sparkled with mischief, "But I might ask you the same question."

That caused me to pause, but I was tired of being coy. To Hell with it. "I was hoping to find you", I said softly.

He didn't answer. Although, I'm not sure what there was to say to that.

"Well, you have found me", he said guardedly. _What do you want?_, his tone implied. If trust could be built between us, this conversation would have to take place and we would both have to be honest.

I gathered myself in preparation of opening the proverbial flood gates, "Why, Erik?"

I realized that I had not really given him much clue as to what I was talking about, but to my surprise he knew. I could tell by the way he looked at me.

It was a sad look that said how much he dreaded the conversation, but he let out a sigh that made it evident that he knew it was unavoidable.

His voice was dark as he looked past me.

"That man couldn't leave well enough alone. He kept meddling in my business hoping to find out more for his damned stories" He glanced at me only for a moment before continuing solemnly, "Also, I promised a disaster, and I never go back on my word" His eyes filled with a smug righteousness that chilled me all the way through and he noticed.

I could see the sudden regret too.

His words had been harsh. Erik always tried to be so gentle around me, like I was a china doll(**A/N: ****Always**** being the small amount of time she has known he was human**).

I could tell that wasn't who he was. The way his eyes shimmered when he talked about killing Boquet confirmed that. He was trying to hide who he really was, so as to not scare me away. If we could repair what had been broken, then he would have to stop hiding.

It surprised him when I laughed, I think. It was a breathy giggle more like; still I didn't know why I did it. It just seemed appropriate. I shook my head in defeat. I had wanted the truth and I had gotten it.

"Why do you do that?" I asked.

He tilted his head in a puzzled way, "Do what?"

"Regret telling me the truth? You are so careful with me"

His face was sullen and he was quiet for so long I wondered briefly if he would answer me. "If you knew the real me..." he stood there and looked down at me grimly, "You would not be standing this close to me" (**A/N: Oh Erik. Just stop whining and take off your pants already**)

There was a brief pause before I answered, "Do you honestly believe that? Do you believe that I would fear you?" I asked gently.

He looked straight into my eyes, "Look at me, Christine. I killed a man in front of thousands of people tonight. Can you honestly say that doesn't frighten you?"

I thought about that for a moment. Did I fear him? I thought long and hard over it, but he never rushed me to answer. Finally, I looked at him and nodded.

"You are right, that is unsettling. There are some things about you I don't understand or that I am frightened of..." I saw the hurt flash in his eyes at my words, "...but if I am not willing to _try_ to understand or to get closer to you...I am no better than the others"

I felt sympathy, with a small twinge of anger and hurt. I felt sympathy for the broken man in front of me who was so far from the world. I was angry at all the people that had ever hurt him; the ones who had cast him out like a piece of trash. I wanted them all to know the pain they had caused him. Moreover, I was hurt that he believed that I might do that. Of course I couldn't blame him. No one had ever given him reason to trust before.

His eyes seemed to be looking for something in my face. I just smiled softly at him, "Ange, I will never leave you. No matter what, I am here. If you will have me-" The way his expression changed, I could tell that was exactly what I needed to say.

His arms closed in a vice-like embrace around me that warmed me to the core. I returned the embrace just as fervently.

Suddenly there was a silence that wasn't like the previous ones. It was charged. I felt his breath close to my neck and I trembled softly.

"Christine…" He sighed almost inaudibly. I was pulled away to look up at him. His brow was furrowed and he wore a troubled frown on his face.

"I would _never_ hurt you, Christine. You know that?" His eyes pleaded with me._ Don't believe the lie_, they begged.

I smiled and nodded, "Yes, I know that" I had never trusted anyone like I trusted him. No matter what I felt for this man...pity, hurt, anger, protectiveness, a slight fear...now I found a strong urge that I had never felt before, with any man.

Slowly I brought my lips up to meet the base of his neck in an experiment. I felt his whole body go rigid.

Was it possible? Did I affect him as much as he affected me?

It seemed impossible, but the thought made me braver. I looked up at him for a moment and met emerald eyes, almost florescent in their brightness. I took a small breath, and brushed my lips against his. It was tentative at first...testing. I wanted to be sure of what I felt and be sure he wouldn't reject me. When he didn't, I let myself get lost in the moment.

And nothing had ever felt more right.

**Again, R&R please ;) Sorry about the sort of cliff-hanger…**


End file.
